(Disclaimer: I’m fucking retarded, FYI. - Adam)

Adam: O-Town!

Evan:  Just now?

Adam: Wait, what?  No, I’m trying out new catchphrases based on late 90’s pop references.

Evan:  I see.  Let me know if I can help.

Adam: Fuck that. I’m not gonna let you Steal My Sunshine.

Evan:  Whoa, Lenny.

Adam: Nice one.  Do you ever try to remember all those shitty songs & videos and put names to all the random images you’ll forever have stuck in your head?  Like there was one song where the video was just some douche in a bucket hat singing in a mall, and all I really remember about the song was “Courtney Love & Marilyn Manson, (blah blah blah) Come around here and we’ll kick your ass in!”

Evan:  I do not know what you are talking about. And also, I relate more to late 80’s/early 90’s pop, except for some reason I can’t shake that episode of “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” where they use that Savage Garden song about bathing to somehow augment whatever’s going on in Clarissa’s love life.

Adam: Actually, one of my friends is an unironic Savage Garden fan, so I actually heard that song like two days ago.

Evan:  Weird.  I mean, as boy bands go, they were definitely tier 1.

Adam: Remember how much Dad liked Take That?

Evan:  OMG

Adam: Hahahaha

Evan:  “Boys, that’s what you call a GIMMICK!”

Adam: “Listen to their VOICE CONTROL!”

Evan:  For Dad, there is nothing more impressive than a quick switch into falsetto. And then back!

Adam: I do like a lot of Robbie Williams’ solo stuff though.

Evan:  I really am not aware of him except that he’s always been really big in every place that isn’t ‘Murka.

Adam: Yea, well I’ve actually been to those places, so…

Evan:  Oh, by the by/speaking of non-‘Murkans, weren’t you shocked when Ricky Martin came out?

Adam: Nah, not really.

Evan:  I was kidding.

Adam: Well, honestly I didn’t expect it, but I can see it.

Evan:  Oh, really, you didn’t expect it?

Adam: The chick in the “Livin’ La Vida Loca” video was fucking beautiful, and I’m assuming he was capable of pulling that kinda quality on the steady, so not necessarily.

Adam: But the best part about his whole coming out is that apparently everyone’s forgotten that a few years ago he thought the sexiest thing in the world was having a woman pee on him.

Evan:  When did he say that?  And honey, the girls in the video are not real.

Adam: In some interview. 

Evan:  I mean, they’re probably real people.

Adam: Wait, no, he said he likes to pee on others…not get peed on.

Evan:  That is different, because you can pee on lots of people of either gender. What, precisely, did he say, because I’m scared to Google “Ricky Martin likes to just cold pee on folks”?

Adam:  This.

Evan:  OMG.  I like the part where he discusses the temperature, because I’m sure that’s what it’s all about. Temperature differences! Now if only we could come up with some fancy illustrations, we would sofa king win this year’s science fair.