Adam: So, Scott Baio’s Twitter meltdown and his wife’s subsequent branding of the Jezebel bloggers as “lesbian shitasses.”

Evan:  I’m really impressed with his excitable trailer trash wife.

Adam: I enjoyed her choice of insults. “Lesbian shitasses,” “cuntness,” & “classy piss.”

Evan:  And the reaction, from the Salon piece: “I’ve been meaning to talk to the ladies at Jezebel about their lesbo cuntness — and how it stacks up against Scott Baio’s piss.”

Adam: “You know, that doesn’t exactly say ‘My piss is really classy.’”  Ha!

Evan:  Right. Because in all my days of watching Charles in Charge as a child, I was thinking “Whatever else is the case, that is a man with some classy piss. Far more than his friend Buddy, at least, who is always late.”

Adam: Yea, well Scott Baio wasn’t as full of classy piss back then. He did fuck Pamela Anderson, after all.

Evan:  Did he? Gross. I’m guessing his piss got classier when he met “Renee.”

Adam: Yea, he was like the first “famous” guy she let inside her.

Evan:  Haha, yeah right.  Her demeanor screams “Screech Powers’ Sloppy Seconds.”

Adam: Because Dustin Diamond, too, is filled with classy piss.  Did you see that Stephen Baldwin article?

Evan:  Yes, ever since he gave his life to Jesus, his career has taken a very shallow nosedive, and now he’s bankrupt. This is all very obviously “sad.”

Adam: And now he needs us, rather than god, to provide.  He should’ve just made Bio-Dome 2.

Evan:  WHERE’S UR SKATER GOD NOW, JACKASS?

Adam: I didn’t realize it until yesterday (because I never actually WANTED to see this movie), but Stephen Baldwin has a cameo in Fred Claus, playing himself, that’s actually pretty funny.

Evan:  I’ll file that away for future reference.

Adam: Yea. Save that one for a rainy day.

Evan:  Um, yeah.  The only good thing about Stephen Baldwin’s bankruptcy (besides the fact that everything about it is hilarious) is that Alec will probably make fun of it in public at some point.

Adam: I hope he does, as Alec Baldwin has never been better.

Evan:  Haha, so I just realized something about the Restore Stephen Baldwin thing, though. Isn’t that what they call it when guys decide to, well, restore their foreskins? Maybe that’s what this is about. In which case, I wouldn’t be all that surprised at the way he’s going about it.  Also, he’s comparing himself to Job, which is just pathetic.

Adam: Wait…you can restore your foreskin?

Evan:  I think it’s possible.

Adam: Like the nerve endings too?

Evan:  I don’t know about that part.

Adam: These are questions you have to ask, Evan.  If there’s a magical operation that’ll make sex feel even better, then I need to know.

Evan:  I don’t think it’s a magical operation. More of a sustained undertaking.

Adam: Well, I require immediate gratification at all times, so…I guess it’s not for me.

Evan:  Nah.