July 2010
1 post
June 2010
9 posts
2 tags
6 tags
Gay: "Robyn Is Amazing!"; Countergay: "No, Bears...
UPDATED because Countergay was being a little bitch. Apparently, I “censored” him, because I thought the conversation worked better cutting off after the M.A.S.H. line, and because I took it off in a whole new direction by calling him a “pedophile” for expressing an interest in an actual bear, like from the wilderness, singing Queen songs, apropos of nothing. But nooooo,...
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A little off topic for us...
…But worth the minute it’ll take you to read this. My tattoo artist, David Cavalcante, has recently made a move from Jacksonville, FL’s Inksmith & Rogers up to Tattoo Paradise in Washington, DC. He’s always taken care of me, so the least I can do is return the favor by putting his name out there. He’s a true artist who does amazing work, so check out his...
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Short & Sweet #4: Wrap It Up!
Evan: Condoms and taco sauce in equal quantities on my nightstand. Don’t know what that means.
Adam: I’m pretty sure it all depends on what the sauce packets say. I’m assuming they’re the “witty” ones from Taco Bell, of course.
Evan: We have a “Will you scratch my back?” Heh. We have two “Ahhh…we meet again”s. And we have...
4 tags
OMG FOUND IT!
This is the aforementioned post that Evan never decided to post even though I sent him the links at least twice and reminded him at least thrice, because, see, Tumblr’s a bitch sometimes (did you know that Tumblr can be a bitch sometimes?) and my internet connection totes sucks [insert suckable object here] and I don’t even remember the setup because it was like a week and a half ago,...
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Gay/CounterGay: Deleted Scenes!
NOTE: Did you ever wonder how these posts come together? No?
Well, here’s a little slice of “Behind the Music: Gay/CounterGay edition,” to satiate your nonexistent curiosity.
Evan: Go make a joke on that Irish thread because that needs to be a post.
Adam: You need to post that other conversation, dicknose.*
Evan: OMG I WILL GO MAKE UP A JOKE SO I CAN SAY SOMETHING...
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Book Report: 'My Dream of You' by Nuala O'Faolain
DISCLAIMER: No offense, Irish people!
Evan: This book blows ass and I hate the main character.
Adam: That’s the best book report ever.
Evan: Extended version: She’s an obnoxious self-centered taint, and I wanted her to die, or otherwise fail in some way, you know, a sort of reverse coming of age story, or maybe have the very Irish author all of a sudden stop talking about...
1 tag
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Israel Acts Like Giant Twatwaffle, Forces...
(Image taken from NY Daily News)
Evan: So, the people calling people anti-semitic for being pissed off at Israel today obv don’t know many American Jews. I just don’t buy that version of the story that Israel’s selling, and I don’t think anyone else does either. It was a freaking aid supply ship, for god’s sake, but allowing it through would force people to pay...
May 2010
12 posts
7 tags
Short & Sweet...#3? Or is it #4? I'm too lazy to...
Evan: It’s so sad when un-hot girls do that Charlie’s Angels picture thing. How straight of me.
Adam: Yea, but you’re totally right. It’s kinda cute when fat, hairy guys do it, though. How bear of me.
Evan: It’s totally hot when three Biebers do it. How suburban pedo housewife of me.
Adam: I enjoy when three Rentboys do it as well. How Rekers of me.
Evan: I like it when...
1 tag
5 tags
How to Get Told
In case there’s any confusion about what just happened on my good friend’s Facebook page, this might help clear things up:
I think we should all be on the same page now.
- Adam
6 tags
"IS ME AN JESUS JUST GOIN 2 PRETTY MUCH CONSTANTLY...
ZOMG. Thank you, Lamebook.
- Adam
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So here's the deal...
Although I don’t believe that anyone is really that concerned one way or another if my brother and I post things often, I’d like to explain the reasons why there are sudden lapses in the frequency of our posts. For starters, at this time he and I are separated by nine whole time zones, and have no real way to communicate other than by emails on the computer box. Oh, there’s the...
4 tags
Life lessons
(After a hiatus of several days, because, you see, we live in very different time zones…)
Evan: I sent Shmase and Shmrent a YouTube video where a really douchey guy gives a lesson on how to eat pussy by staring at the camera and closing his eyes and pretending his hand is a pussy and they didn’t appreciate it. I bet I’m the only friend who’s ever thought enough of them to...
April 2010
14 posts
24 tags
Fuck, Marry, Kill and FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!...
Evan: Fuck, Marry, Kill: Bert’n’Ernie, Big Bird, Stephen Baldwin.
Adam: Oh, that’s easy. Fuck, Marry, Kill in that order:
Fuck: Bert & Ernie, because there’s two of them (obviously). More bang for your buck (ifyaknowhaddamean…)
Marry: Big Bird, because he seems nice – XD
Kill: Stephen Baldwin…someone really should.
Evan: Fuck, Marry, Kill: Larry King, Betty White, Statler &...
3 tags
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Touched by an angel, girl
Evan: Why is Paul Provenza following me on Twitter? (NOT THAT THAT IS A PROBLEM.)
Adam: I have no idea. I believe his name means “touched by an angel” in Italian.
Evan: Most Italian words translate into “touched by an angel,” I believe. This is why Della Reese becomes so flustered when she is in Florence.
Adam: ”I’m just sittin’ here tryin’...
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Evan: Please go listen to this right now. And...
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Scott Baio melted down on Twitter; Stephen Baldwin...
Adam: So, Scott Baio’s Twitter meltdown and his wife’s subsequent branding of the Jezebel bloggers as “lesbian shitasses.”
Evan: I’m really impressed with his excitable trailer trash wife.
Adam: I enjoyed her choice of insults. “Lesbian shitasses,” “cuntness,” & “classy piss.”
Evan: And the reaction, from the Salon piece:...
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Short & Sweet, #2 [Amanda fucking Palmer edition]
Evan: I haven’t listened to this song in far too long.
Adam: That and “Backstabber” are my two favorite Dresden Dolls songs.
Evan: I honestly love everything she touches.
Adam: So…Neil Gaiman’s penis?
Evan: I said “everything,” right?
15 tags
Chicken. Triscuits. Ambivalence.
Adam: Hey.
Evan: Hey. (I imagine, of course, that we’re saying hey in quiet whispers, like they did on “Felicity.”)
Adam: Dude, have you gone to Gawker lately?
Evan: Not lately.
Adam: There’s some great stuff on their front page right now. The president of Bolivia says eating chicken makes you gay, but chicken’s also apparently going to cure cancer.
Evan: Yeah, I...
3 tags
Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey, y'all. It's for the...
Evan: I’m warning you right now, you can’t unsee this video of a buncha Christians speaking not in tongues, but in Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey. (Just kidding, they speak in tongues too.) And yes, these people are being HEALED through the Hokey Pokey. Hallelujar!
My favorite part is when the shouty beardaddy pastor starts yelling for the crowd to do the Hokey Pokey “by...
3 tags
Short & Sweet, #1
Adam: Btw - I’ve noticed that when you write “Murkans” without an apostrophe, it makes me think of a merkin (or mirkin? sp?).
Evan: Merkin - pubic wig. ‘Murkan - general pube.
Adam: Merkin/’Murkan – homonym.
Evan: Pubonym.
Adam: Nice.
5 tags
10 Year Old Pop Trash
(Disclaimer: I’m fucking retarded, FYI. - Adam)
Adam: O-Town!
Evan: Just now?
Adam: Wait, what? No, I’m trying out new catchphrases based on late 90’s pop references.
Evan: I see. Let me know if I can help.
Adam: Fuck that. I’m not gonna let you Steal My Sunshine.
Evan: Whoa, Lenny.
Adam: Nice one. Do you ever try to remember all those shitty songs & videos and put names to...
2 tags
Random Conversations, #1
Evan: Um, so I don’t like how everything people used to be a “fan of” on Facebook is now just things they “like”
Adam: Yea, I noticed that too.
Evan: And I sort of wonder why I have an opinion on this, but I do.
Adam: Being?
Evan: That I don’t like everybody liking things.
Adam: I just think it implied a different level of commitment to say that you were a...
19 tags
The Emancipation of Miley
Evan: Okay, so I’m reading this piece by Brian Cherry at one of Breitbart’s Big Dumbass sites, the Hollywood one, about how Miley Cyrus is a liberal threat to country music and…Okay, first thought?
Adam: OK, first thought, without even having read a single word of the article: what’s up with dude’s hair?
Evan: He mentions the left having problems with hygiene and...
Why, hello there.
Adam: Why don’t you like the banner?
Evan: I just don’t. First of all, I really hate looking at tits. And hot dogs are gross.
Adam: Yea, but this isn’t just about you
Evan: Hence, “hot dogs are gross”?
Adam: What does “hence” mean? Jaykayjaykay…but I thought you’d think it was funny…hot dogs & tits are both AMERICAN (even though those tits...